addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
hah there are some things we should just not know about. seriously, somethings are better left unsaid/unheard/unread. maybe my dream was trying to tell me something... the truth? which really sucks cos that's the next worse thing to .... ....... . then i'm going to get all angry and distracted thinking about it. ugh. emotional rollercoaster.
zzzz. crap i really shouldn't have ..UGH. :(
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i am such a big loser i have been sitting around in my rm doing weird things like retrying the math paper and realising how stupidity is directly proportional to the square of current stress levels. it's really quiet at home and prissy's not home so i have nobody to talk to. cept myself... hahhhh. i'm tired and anxious and angry and stressed and upset and feeling guilty for feeing angry and upset and ..mrhhh. aghh now my thoughts are killing me. i think talking to myself really drives me mad..... crappp. on the brighter side, the time for what is supposed to happen is approaching. it sucks not to know the exact date, all i can do is hope it happens. and if it doesn't then i'll just be mega sad and roar i am rambling. so lonely at home :( supp to go out and exercise but i feel so lousy now. all because of THATTT stupid lousy thing. huhhh it shouldn't be that way....... i shouldn't think that way.. but then again don't i have a right to feel saddd. zzzzz. it's like .. akldfsjalkjroiewuoijgkasjdf ok yes some things shouldn't be said. i'm scared i'll break down at the wrong time. and i'm not supp to talk about it cos it seems like i'm not entitled to think that way. :( it just tears me apart that everything that was so real to me may never have been real in the first place.
i probably sound like a crazy fool to people who are reading this. haha. that's cos i am one. SDJFLSKJWERJDFJ. i need to learn how to be happy. despite everything that's going on. i need to learn to be happy happy happy...
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